Don't You Dare look at me

         What is your thought about going to the gym? "I want to try and look better and feel better!" Not, "oh judge me!!!" Stop dead in your tracks right there usane bolt! I walk into the weight room the other day at my local fitness facility and what do I see. Two goons! Two juiced up apes staring me down like no other. Like I ran over thier puppy moments before hand.We get it youre macho dickheads! You can bench more than us! We get it you are way cooler than us because of your cut-off football camp shirts from 1999! We get it your eyes are wiggling around in your head since the juice has burnt any cells that may hold them in place but dont wiggle my way. We are all here for the same reason. No need for some meatball to look at me like i am not worthy of being in the weight room.

         I think it is absolute hogwash that two crotch stains need to mean mug me, the grizzly bear in the gym (6'4", 280 lbs) and they are just meat head, banana eating, gorillas! Who wins in that fight? The animal with the bigger claws! So please dont look at us average folk or you might end up in a zoo where yours needles wont be filled with the junk but loaded with meds to put you down. And... And... In the zoo people will laugh at how small your balls are when you dont have shorts to cover them up!

- Trial Correspondant Matt Cole